Who lost, who fell, and whose mom said The Worst Thing This Week?

Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition: S02E01 episode recap

I have to start by noting that the first instance of someone saying the by-now-mandatory "We're not here to make friends" happened in the first few minutes of the first episode of the season; surely a record for any reality show. (The honor here goes to Haley's mom Melanie: remember that for later.)

In this episode (officially titled "Make It Count!") we got a quick introduction to all of the new dancers and their mothers, followed immediately by a group piece - slash - audition on the spot. (Pressure!)

The contestants were quickly narrowed down to Trinity and Kalani. Trinity won, and earned the right to pick the other two dancers who would join her in the trio competition with a Beyonce theme.

The dancers broke into their groups for the trio competitions, giving the episode some breathing room to spend time with the dancers and their moms. I'm always struck by how professional the dancers are to each other, while their parents dust it up backstage.

What was the worst thing a mom said in this episode? That is a tough call.

I have to award special mention to Haley's mom Melanie (who didn't come here to make friends) hissing at her daughter to "stop being a nervous wreck." Because everybody knows the best way to handle a terrified, weeping, stressed out 11 year-old girl is to snap at her.

But by far and away the honor for Worst Thing Said By A Mom In This Episode goes to Kalani's mom Kira, for saying that when Trinity did a backflip, it "sounded like a cow hit the stage." Because that's a cruel, unwarranted, and triggering thing to say about anyone, much less an athletic thirteen year-old girl in peak physical condition.

Body criticism of a young dancer? Really? A prime example of why we need feminism. As you can see, men aren't the only ones who can be misogynists. 

Back to the on-stage competition!

Gianna, Kalani, and McKaylee did a Madonna-inspired number which the judges agreed was the best overall number of the night. Even though Gianna slipped and fell during the performance. Poor Gianna: she's probably forever doomed to be remembered as "the girl who fell on her butt in the first episode."

Trinity, Ally, and Chloe did the aforementioned Beyonce-inspired number. Ally looked stunning in her red outfit. (Abby chastised Trinity's poor strategic skills for basically letting Ally look so much better than her, even though Trinity was the one who had won the initial competition and was therefore calling the shots.)

The thousand-watt JoJo, Travis, and JoJo's giant hat did a Gene Kelley number. The hat clearly won; it upstaged the other two competitors by a wide margin.

Haley, Tyler, and Sarena performed a catastrophic Michael Jackson number. Sarina's mother Sharon blamed the choreographer for the fact that her daughter didn't learn the choreography. This was an unsportsman-like load of crap, and I'm glad Abby took her to task for it.

In the end, although everyone had some serious faults, and no one did the thing with the feet that Abby's always harping about, Sarina was the one to be sent home.

Stay tuned for another article this Friday, and an episode recap next Tuesday night!

WATCH FULL Season 2 Episode 1 (Make It Count!) TV-PG (@Lifetime)

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