Raising Confident Girls

Right now I’m reading several parenting books, but I am happy to report that most of them are pretty good stuff. From gentle parenting to “free-range” parenting, I’m learning quite a few good tips that should come in handy along the way. The book I’ve been reading tonight, Raising Confident Girls: 100 Tips for Parents and Teachers, is a bit of a mixed bag.

The premise is great, and the author, Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer, has tackled the same subject with boys, too—which I like. We absolutely need to help our children become confident, capable people, and speaking as a person who’s never been very confident, I could use all the tips I can get. Some of the tips in the books are spot on, such as respecting and loving your daughter as she is and coming to terms with the fact that she does not have to agree with everything you say. If some of us could get past this simple concept, we’d have a much happier world on our hands, I am sure!

But some of the tips make me wary. The first anecdote in the book tells about how a father made his daughter feel special by commenting on how wonderful she looked. To me, this goes against the very premise of the book. I think the speaker meant to say that he made her feel her best in other ways, too, but the focus in her story was on her looks. Some tips also suggest that teachers identify a couple of girls who look like they have low self-esteem to help along the way, which I also don’t like. Every girl struggles with self-esteem at some point—it’s a natural part of adolescence and growing up, after all—and I think helping the entire class see girls as strong, capable people would be so much more beneficial.

I’ll keep reading the book and using the tips that stand out for me, but I think the best way to help a girl be confident is to make sure she knows you believe in her and that she can do anything in her life that she wants to do.

Photo courtesy of Sara S.