It is hard to take advice about dating. The fact is, we want to love who we think we love, but then after it blows up in our face and our friends are all sick of our BS, we wish we would have listened to the people who know us best. It isn't always easy to hear those in relationships talk about good ones, and with how well the old marriage rate is currently doing, it’s hard to find a credible source anywhere. Sometimes, then, the best answer comes in the form of a completely objective source.
While I’m not currently in a relationship, being ready and prepared isn't horrible. Scouring the Internet today, I stumbled upon this article on Facebook among notifications that everyone I know is either in love, engaged or married (barf!). What struck me so strongly about this article is that, all of the signs spoken of are things I have experienced in the past, and would have been happy to avoid.
The two most striking signs for me were # 1 (AKA the “tape-over-mouth” feeling) and #8 (AKA dream killing). While I’d like to think now that I know you shouldn't have to explain yourself pretty much ever, let alone to the one you love, this is something that happens far too frequently in bad relationships.
Feeling so misunderstood that silence is a better option than trying to portray what you think, coupled with having your dreams trumped each day, is not love. That, my friends, is in fact what we like to call abuse. A relationship with the right one should not leave you feeling like you are constantly wrong and your dreams are unimportant. While fights happen, and lasting relationships have ebbs and flows, verbal abuse should never become a factor.
While I don’t have a huge amount of experience in the “picking the right one,” department, I think I've learned a thing or two about identifying the right one when she comes. Relationships are about respect. They aren't about completing one another; they are about complementing one another. Relationships shouldn't be the end-all, be-all goal, but they should have the ability to help you reach yours. A relationship is a partnership, and if both partners aren't on the same page, maybe it is time to find someone new to do business with.
Photo courtesy of Mag for Women
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