Weird celebrity diets

For some reason, we as a culture are obsessed with celebrity diets. The main problem with trying to follow these diets as a civilian is that celebrities are able to A) hire personal trainers to work with them for hours a day, and B) have nothing better to do than spend all day working out and not eating.

And not to put too fine a point on it, but just because someone is famous, that doesn't mean that they make good life choices. Frankly, a lot of celebrities are idiots, and the lengths they will go to in order to lose a few pounds is truly mind-boggling.

A note before we begin: I'm focusing here on actual diet plans, not on fasting plans. Things like the Master Cleanse or the Cabbage Soup Diet are limited-scope fasts or crash diets, and not long-term plans for weight loss.

The Liz Taylor Diet
Widely considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, in 1987 Liz Taylor wrote a bestselling book (now out of print) about her personal diet plan after she used it to lose sixty pounds. New York Magazine columnist Rebecca Harrington gave Liz Taylor's diet a try for two weeks. By all accounts, it was a horrible fortnight.

Taylor's diet begins every day with a slice of dry toast and a piece of fruit. Mid-afternoon, Taylor recommends raw vegetables in a dip made by mixing sour cream, blue cheese, vinegar, and a shallot. The dinners (which are apparently the largest meal of the day) sound truly awful: Bland fat-free meals like plain swordfish or a plain filet of sole, alternating with colossal high-calorie meals like a piece of steak sandwiched in peanut butter and bread.

Taylor's diet is overall probably low in calories (it's hard to tell without being able to read a specific meal plan). But it emphasizes a method of fasting all day and then gorging occasionally, which is not just dubious science, it will probably also make you feel quite ill. And worst of all, Taylor apparently has terrible taste in food. I gag to think of the prospect of "minted new potatoes," which Harrington describes as "a swampy mess of mint leaves and spuds."

Image courtesy Flickr/kozumel

Jennifer Aniston's Baby Food Diet
I can't help but think that the only reason this diet works is that it is disgusting and you would probably rather skip a meal than eat a jar of baby food. Have you smelled a jar of baby food recently? The stuff is revolting. I have to assume that the only reason babies eat baby food is that babies are idiots.

Nutritionally, the diet probably isn't too bad. You eat pureed meats, fruits and vegetables up to 14 times a day. And those little jars are portable and don't require a lot of prep work, which is great for dieters on the go. That's about the best thing I can say.

Image courtesy Flickr/brixton21

Gwyneth Paltrow
Paltrow keeps her willowy figure by eating an incredibly restrictive diet. It's macrobiotic, vegan, gluten-free, and low fat, and she chews each bite 13 times before she swallows.

In addition to her lifestyle site GOOP, Paltrow's cookbook It's All Good is scheduled to be published on April 2nd. Subtitled "Delicious, Easy Recipes That Will Make You Look Good And Feel Great," the cookbook contains 185 recipes for Paltrow's lifestyle which includes "no coffee, no alcohol, no dairy, no eggs, no sugar, no shellfish, no deep-water fish, no wheat, no meat, no soy, nothing processed at all." Yum?

Image courtesy Flickr/Ed Van-West

Madonna Has Culture
Madonna looks pretty great for a woman her age. The constant working out probably has a lot to do with that. But the singer credits her macrobiotic diet which is heavy on fermented foods and whole grains, designed to help cultivate her intestinal flora.

Madonna's personal chef prepares all her meals, featuring fermented foodstuffs like soy sauce, miso, and tempeh, alongside macrobiotic ingredients like millet, brown rice, oats and seaweed. She chooses foods that are minimally processed and avoids meat, dairy, and coffee.

There is some evidence that healthy gut flora are linked to low incidences of obesity, and certainly Madonna's diet is admirably balanced and wholesome. But it also sounds like it could be high in salt, with all that seaweed, miso and soy sauce. This diet is probably best left to those who can afford a personal chef to work around the clock, for those midnight millet binges.

Image of Liz Taylor courtesy Flickr/libertygrace0