Not as good as I remembered them being when I was young

Series Review: Predator

As a child, you see movies and are instantly dazzled when they present you with something that you’ve never seen before.  The original Predator movie was one of these, much like other cult classics such as Alien and Robocop.  And while the alien was scary and looked amazing, the movie itself doesn’t quite hold up against the test of time.  While these films are fun for their stab at the aliens vs. humans action premise, in execution they leave much to be desired.  I am about to embark on a review that will likely make Predator fans very upset with me, so turn your eyes away if you can’t bare it.

Predator (1987) -

The first film of the franchise was put together by director John Campbell McTiernan, Jr.  This guy, whose name you probably don’t even recognize, was responsible for some truly amazing action flicks over the years.  If you’ve ever seen a little obscure movie called Die Hard, or perhaps Hunt for Red October or Last Action Hero or (a favorite of mine) The 13th Warrior, you are familiar with McTiernan’s work.

It is probably the director that makes this film what it is today.  It isn’t a massively well-rated flick, but Rotten Tomatoes does have it at 78% from critics and 83% from the general audience.  Me, I’d rate it a little lower than that, but it’s still enjoyable as long as you don’t take it too seriously.

The general story is simple - a group of soldiers are in the jungle and end up getting attacked by a stealthy alien from another world.  The alien is there hunting humans, much the same way that humans hunt bears or deer.  The alien kills off each soldier, one by one, until only the mighty Arnold Schwarzenegger remains.  He uses his brains and figures a way to outsmart the alien.  Things explode.

The glory of Predator really relies on the alien.  It is a unique design that turns what would have been an otherwise forgettable film into a cult classic.  Seriously, the alien looks cool and has cool toys and we love this movie for that.  If you actually try to watch this film for the acting or realism, you’re screwed.  Predator is a shoot-em-up action, kill-by-numbers flick and makes no pretense otherwise.  Turn your brain off, watch things explode and have fun and Predator will rock your world. 

Predator 2 (1990) -

When we get the next installment of the franchise, we not only lose Arnold as the main protagonist (a move that was probably for the best), but we also lose the tension and barely believable premise that made the first movie watchable.  This one does not bring back the original director either, and it shows.

The premise is that a predator has arrived in Los Angeles.  He’s still doing the same thing that the old predator did, although this time he’s hunting gang members.  The police find out and Danny Glover comes to save the day.  After running into clue after clue, Glover figures out that there’s an alien involved.  A final confrontation results in which our hero wins out and some other predators award him with a trophy for besting their pal.

The best thing about this film is that it expands on the Predator mythology.  We get to see the alien spaceship, learn more about how their culture works and discover that they have more emotions than just being cold-blooded killers.  We also learn that they’ve been doing this hunting thing for a long, long time.  But other than that, the movie is an exercise in action that has little highlights.  If you enjoy the first movie, you have to watch the second, but don’t expect to be too impressed by it.

Predators (2010) -

And this is where I will make people cringe with my review, for I thought that the newest installment, Predators, was perhaps the best in the franchise.  Rotten Tomatoes certainly doesn’t agree with a 64/51 rating.  But to me, this movie embodies the spirit of the franchise more than any of the others.  In execution, it does leave a bit to be desired, but then so do all of them.

This time around, some humans are taken from Earth and dropped on a planet.  It’s sort of a hunting reserve where predators come to test their skills and have a nice vacation - you know, like those lakes where the fish are constantly restocked for fishers.  Of course, the predators get the wrong guy (Adrien Brody) and he ends up besting them at their own game.

It’s a kill-by-numbers flick to be sure, but I liked the expanded role of the predators in the film.  They are no longer the menacing, generic enemy that the other films portrayed them as.  It’s their world and the humans are just fodder for their enjoyment.  As a comparison to humans of our own age, it is fairly on target.  And the humans in this one are at least partially smart (with some very notable exceptions).  A must see to wrap up the series.

Alien vs. Predator (2004) -

Welcome to the worst predator movie ever made.  This one rehashes a premise that was put out in comic format in the early 90s - take the aliens from Alien and put them in combat against a predator.  Seems simply enough, right?  But then they add some humans, turn it into yet another kill-by-numbers film and run it on a script so bad that it is virtually impossible to watch this film more than once.

No need to recap the plot, because I just told it to you.  There’s nothing more to it than that.  There’s a compound with some aliens and the predators come to hunt them.  Humans show up and wake the aliens up.  Almost everyone dies.

Avoid this film like the plague.  It has no redeeming values, not even the battles (very few) of aliens against the predator.  You will be better for having not watched this film.

Alien vs. Predator: Requiem (2007) -

Wait, they made a sequel to that film?  Sorry, but I was not even aware that this one existed.  I’m guessing it went straight to video.  I’ll probably end up watching it out of curiosity at some point, but for now it remains a great unknown (and probably gratefully so).

Predator poster courtesy of geekscape.net

Predators poster courtesy of collider.com