Review: Silent Hill: Revelation (2012)

Before I even get started on this mess of a film, let me just point out that it was given the all-too-generous rating of 6% / 38% on the almighty Rotten Tomatoes site.  While my faith in RT has been wavering as of late (they have Fast and Furious 6 rated 15% higher than Man of Steel, for example), they’re dead-on when it comes to Silent Hill: Revelation.  Though its predecessor was no great work of art, it was at least a little bit creepy due to a good mix of creature design and camera work.  This one drops the strengths of the first film and leaves a chaotic mess with a horrible script as its foundation.

The basic premise of the story is that Heather, the girl rescued from the evils of Silent Hill in the first flick, is being drawn back into the cultish town so that she can complete her destiny.  Her father (played by Sean Bean) has been on the run with his daughter, trying to keep the baddies from finding them.  Unfortunately, they finally catch up and kidnap him to lure her back.  Naturally, she has to go try to rescue daddy.

A friend from school helps her out; a friend that she discovers is actually one of the cultists that are trying to nab her.  But he has a change of heart after knowing Heather for less than a day and decides to protect her instead.  This doesn’t help, as the guy is pretty much useless in every regard.  So Heather is on her own.

Into Silent Hill she goes (after about half the film is already over), where she encounters the same crap we saw in the first film, albeit with less special effects or ingenuity behind the creepiness.  Instead of being horrific, the monsters are almost laughable.  At best, they are used as simple devices to move the story in one way or another or to create the illusion of danger.  Eventually, Heather encounters the evil Silent Hill demon girl, who also happens to be her mother.  They engage in a hug-war and Heather comes out on top.  She then heads out to confront the cultists, the leader of which (played by Carrie-Anne Moss) turns into demon sword-fighter lady.  A battle between Pyramid Head and the demon lady ensues.

This film’s greatest weakness is that is just rehashes what was already used in the first one, but without the same feeling.  Thus, the evil nurses show up but are not creepy, just kind of ludicrous.  Pyramid Head wanders around doing mostly nothing and whoever is under that mask is so bad at physical performance that the character looks more like a drunken sailor with a big piece of painted cardboard on his head than anything else.  The design for the demon lady is almost hilarious and her character would fit wonderfully into a B-rate fighting game for the Playstation.

The only thing I could possibly compliment the film on is the fact that the actors really do try to play their roles.  Considering the horrible dialogue and pointless script, it’s quite the feat.  How they managed to get half of these actually-working actors into this film is beyond me.  Even if you like video games and love horror films, I would recommend avoiding this one like the plague.  It’s not even good for the camp.

Silent Hill Revelation poster courtesy of denofgeek.com