First up this week, a look at what we can expect from the barrage of Super Bowl ads this year. This major sporting event is known for bringing some of the biggest and the best advertisements and with the summer blockbuster season on the horizon it only makes sense that movie studios would be seeking to take advantage of the exposure. This year, we’ll be getting a glimpse of the very first Transformers: Age of Extinction trailer, which will show us exactly how bad MichaelBay got it this time around. We’ll also get another look at both Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Amazing Spider-Man 2. Rumors abound that X-Men: Days of Future Past and Expendables 3 will also be on the bill, though those remain unconfirmed. And naturally, even if you don’t watch the Super Bowl (like me), the trailers will likely be plastered all over the Internet before the game is even over.
Next up, what has to be the absolute worst idea ever, Hollywood has decided that those Choose Your Own Adventure books that you may remember from your childhood should be made into a movie. How they plan on doing this is a mystery, but they have a director all set and some writers real close to signing. God help us all, Hollywood has officially run out of ideas.
Third in line, some more potentially bad news. Fans of anime have no doubt seen Masamune Shirow’s Ghost in the Shell at least once in their lives. This is yet another classic film (turned television series) that the boys in Hollywood want to adapt to a live-action format. It’s been floating in limbo for damn near a decade now, but a director has signed so it may be ready to go. Who is the director, you ask? Rupert Sanders, perhaps best known for Snow White and the Huntsman. I say best known for, but in reality Sanders hasn’t really done anything else, so… I am pretty skeptical about this one and if they try to cast Kristen Stewart in the lead I will seriously riot.
And speaking of Kristen Stewart, just was is old K-Stew up to these days? Well, she happens to be playing one of the leads in yet another Hollywood disaster. This one is a new version of 1984. Stewart in 1984, you say? Don’t worry, it gets worse. This version shall be a teen romance film, the title of which is Equals. WTF? Hollywood, I officially hate you. It almost seems as if there’s some sort of secret competition going on to see who can come up with the worst idea. This one has to be winning by a long shot, trailed only by the Choose Your Own Adventure flick.
So until next time, just cover your eyes and pretend that everything is fine. Maybe when you open them movies will be good again.
Photo Credits -
1984 Stewart courtesy of oystermag.com
2 comments