9 Classic Cheeseball Sci-Fi and Fantasy Flicks

There are some movies out there that you see and you know they are bad, but for some reason your heart opens up a special place for them.  Sometimes we see them as children, viewing them with eyes that are still filled with wonder and not yet critical of the many horrible things you can do to a movie, thus they stick to us.  Others just happen to be the proper mixture of bad and good, inspiring within us a compelling need to watch them, regardless of the fact that we know we should look away.  But they always manage to follow us to the ends of our lives, those special and especially bad films that we will sit down and watch at a moment’s notice. 

I decided to make a list of nine of my favorite bad films from the science fiction and fantasy genres.  Some of these you may have seen, others may be unknown to you.  Actually, if you grew up in the 80s they’re probably all known to you.  While some of them have gotten good reviews, any sane person that sits back and watches them with an unbiased eye will see exactly how bad they are when held up to modern standards of what makes a film good. And even though most of these on my list seem to come from the 80s (a golden age for cheesy sci-fi and fantasy movies, it seems), the true talent for cheese in film extends far beyond the boundaries of a single decade.  Read on and enjoy.

Ice Pirates (1984) -

This space-pirate flick had the distinct pleasure of starring (in a secondary capacity) both Angelica Huston and Ron Perlman.  Okay, so Perlman I can understand, but Huston?!  Was it an off year or was this before people realized she had talent?  Either way, the resulting flick known as Ice Pirates is a sci-fi comedy that is so goofy you can’t help but love it.  Ridiculous robots and jokes about space herpes come together within a script that surely must have been crafted while the writers were black-out drunk.  I love this film to death.

Flash Gordon (1980) -

Flash Gordon was one of the original “super hero” movies of the 80s.  Taking a famous cartoon persona, a movie was made that positively screams “80s!” with every second.  The FX were decent enough for the time period (and likely for the budget), but the sheer silliness of much of the film makes it impossible to take seriously, despite the fact that it is desperately trying to be.  Oddly enough, the unforgiving folks at Rotten Tomatoes gave this one an 81/70%.  Yes, Flash Gordon is better than almost every super hero movie that’s come out in the last decade.

Starship Troopers (1997) -

A more recent addition to the list, this movie was a complete bastardization of the original Robert Heinlein novel.  Featuring a stellar cast composed of such acting greats as Casper Van Dien, Denise Richards and Jake Busey, you can be sure that a showing of Starship Troopers will be quite painful.  There’s only one thing this movie has going for it - dudes with guns fighting armies of giant freakin’ bugs.  And that’s why I continue to watch it.  Apparently, it’s a real gem of a flick over at Rotten Tomatoes, ranking in at a decent enough 63/70%.  Yes, this crap-turd of a movie received more critical acclaim than Man of Steel.  Sigh…

Cherry 2000 (1987) -

Some may recognize this entry from the list I put together last week.  Cherry 2000 surely deserves a place on this list, being one of the most amazingly goofy post-apocalyptic films ever made.  I mean, the main storyline revolves around a man trying to get a new sex doll… how could this movie not be awesome?  It also happens to be a movie that flew under most people’s radar, but I would heartily recommend it to all lovers of B-rate science fiction.

The Black Hole (1979) -

This is another one that charmed me back when I was still aging in the single digits.  The Black Hole, while it pretty much ignores physics, is a Disney movie that, to a young child, was both dazzling and scary as heck.  The bad guy robot, Maximilian, is still enough to give me nightmares.  And though it the movie doesn’t hold up in quality now that I’m a grown man, it shall forever be one of my go-to B-flicks.

Krull (1983) -

A forgotten classic of both the science fiction and fantasy genre, Krull was a movie that, with a bigger budget and slightly better actors (and a decent director) could have been one of the greats.  The story is wonderful, the world it takes place in is amazingly original and the script is actually well-written, if not well-executed.  Though in recent years it causes a small amount of pain to view Krull, it’s still one of my favorite “films that should have been great”.  Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t seem to agree, however, giving the poor flick a rather meager 33/51%.

Beastmaster (1982) -

Another film that epitomizes fantasy films in the 80s, Beastmaster comes complete with Marc Singer and his amazing 80’s hair-do.  Enter a world where a barbarian guy (who also happens to be a disenfranchised prince) can talk to animals.  See him face an evil sorcerer played by Rip Torn.  Witness not-so-epic battles set to moderately epic 80s fantasy music.  Yes, Beastmaster has all of this and more.

The Neverending Story (1984) -

You may have fond childhood memories of this film, but rest assured that an adult viewing of The Neverending Story will shatter all that you hold dear.  While child actors are not known for putting on the best of performances, the two main characters of this flick are so bad they make that kid who played Anakin in Star Wars look like a pro.  The thing that the movie has, and the reason we all still love it, is a classic hero’s journey - a geek kid becoming a hero - set in a world that is deeply detailed with atmosphere and cool-looking muppets.  The folks at Rotten Tomatoes even saw fit to give it an 80/82%, though I sincerely doubt that this movie is actually better than Scorsese’s Gangs of New York, no matter what they might suggest.

Conan the Destroyer (1984) -

And finally, the Conan movie that made me give up on Conan movies.  While Conan the Barbarian was a gritty take on barbarians and sorcery, the follow-up film plays out so badly that it’s almost painful to watch poor Schwarzenegger going through the motions.  The reason we still love Conan the Destroyer is because we get to see Arnie battling evil bad guys with a big freakin’ sword and even wrestling a demonic god.  All I can say is, at least it’s way better than Red Sonja.

Photo Credits -

Ice Pirates courtesy of hauntedflicks.blogspot.com

Flash Gordon courtesy of johnkennethmuir.wordpress.com

Starship Troopers courtesy of floridageekscene.com

Cherry 2000 courtesy of robotattack.co

The Black Hole courtesy of movieramblings.com

Krull courtesy of mediabreach.com

Beastmaster courtesy of voltronranger.com

The Neverending Story courtesy of totalfilm.com

Conan the Destroyer courtesy of ruthlessreviews.com