My friend S absolutely radiates motherly wisdom. I used to think that if I could give every parent on earth one thing, it would be a copy of Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting (and maybe slip inside a copy of John Taylor Gatto’s Dumbing Us Down, since it’s thin and would probably fit anyway!). But after being a parent for over 8 years now, I’d have to say that I’d also want to give every parent a seminar with S. A seminar would have to be taped, though; she has a lot of kids and no time for traveling and giving seminars!
Earlier this evening I caught yet another piece of her sagacious advice regarding issues with young children. The advice was simple—to simply wait it out for a while and live—and she gave some personal stories and experience to back it up. She was absolutely right, of course, but it’s so hard to wait! We want to help our kids as fast as we can and if anyone—especially an “expert”—tells us something is wrong with them, we want to jump in and give them their best chance, right?
And sometimes you have to enroll in therapy, behavior or food modification, and even medicine. But our culture has this quick fix, instant gratification addiction and it’s turned toward our children, making ridiculous demands of them that are simply not age appropriate. All of my pscyh studies as an undergraduate education major taught me right away that all kids develop at different speeds, that no milestones can be held across the board for all kids and that it is natural for kids to move—not to sit. Even with this in mind, we deny the natural tendencies of children and push medication and change toward them as early as age two instead of just loving them unconditionally, nurturing their unique personalities and interests and working with who they are.
Like I said, sometimes changes must be made, especially when a child’s medical or dietary needs call for them. But as a culture we are pushing our kids into cookie cutter molds instead of living our lives as who we are, which is what we were meant to be.
Don’t take time away from childhood. Live on their own time as they learn and grow.
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia
0 comments