Think It Over: Are you a helicopter parent?

Usually I don’t consider myself a helicopter parent. I’ve been letting Wood Sprite swim by herself in the pool (with me there, just not in the pool with her) at the rec center since she was six. She plays outside by herself quite often; like my mom, I leave the window open so I can check on her now and then, or just listen to the sweet songs she sings. (During a very beautiful day last week, she sang a song about clovers that just about made me cry!) At the store, I let her wander off a ways as long as she’s in earshot, and like Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids, I let her play at the game station at Target while I shop nearby.

That said…I still have her hold my hand in parking lots. She is eight, and I’ve tried the no-hand-holding before only to see her waltz right in front of a car. She just doesn’t pay that much attention yet. I can’t see myself dropping her off at an ice cream shop with friends, and sometimes it’s so hard because she’s an only child and I worry about her not having a “buddy” with her. I totally could not see myself leaving her on a subway like Skenazy did with her son—but then again, we live in the suburbs. I’ve only been on a subway one time and my daughter never has! If we navigated it together regularly and both knew it well, maybe I would.

Unlike most of the helicopter parents in Skenazy’s book, which highlights the parental child safety fetish we’re currently engaged in as a nation, I don’t worry about kidnapping so much as I do about things like jerks driving cars too fast and, where we live, snakes and brown recluses! I need to be better at teaching my kiddo to be aware of her surroundings and overall “street smart,” and I am really enjoying Skenazy’s book, which is full of tips to do just that (as well as tips to help parents relax a bit). I absolutely love her take on many “parenting experts,” whom I, too, often find to be a joke.

Do you think you’re a helicopter parent, or are you more free range?

Photo courtesy of Sara S.