A good friend of mine came to visit last week. We hadn’t seen each other in several years and it was so wonderful to catch up with her. One of the things we talked about was the obsession with money that our culture has and how wrong it is. If you were obsessed with anything else—from pancakes to worms to snot to pureed spinach—you would be considered weird. If obsessed to the point of a person on Wall Street with one of these things or anything other than money, you could even be committed for mental help. But for some reason, it’s perfectly okay with money.
Another friend and I had a disagreement last fall that still doesn’t sit well for me. Both of us come from lower middle class families that struggled as we grew up. We were never homeless, but there were weeks when buying lunch at school was definitely difficult. I argue that a childhood like that—or, a better situation, one with enough food but still without the comforts of a well-off family—is good for teaching so many things and that I am fine with the kind of life my child has.
My friend argued vehemently that it’s better to have plenty of money, that you should always want to give your child more. I have seen what that kind of life does for children, too, and I’d rather not have it for my child. I am sure lovely rich kids exist (and parents as well) but I have yet to meet them. And while I certainly don’t want my child to be treated the way I was treated by these children growing up, I don’t want her to treat others the way they treated me, either.
For me, a middle ground is best—somewhere in which the electric is never shut off and there’s plenty of food, but sacrifices still have to be made and you can’t get everything you want. I have seen families who live in voluntary poverty, who make their own homes and communities, use solar panels and compost toilets and grow their own food, and I think—wow. That’s what I would love to do for my family. I honestly don’t know how, but I’m sure I could learn. And as a writer, I could work from anywhere.
To me, spending as much time with my family is much more important than earning enough to spend on a bunch of useless junk and meaningless activity. I could make three times as much money as I make now if I didn’t homeschool, for example—just by sending my child to school for that extra work time. But being with her is more important. I also acknowledge that I am extremely lucky to be able to make this decision; many families, especially those with one parent, cannot.
But I know everyone has a different opinion regarding this topic and I’d love to hear from you and how you manage money with your family. No judgment here; we can all respect and learn from one another’s opinions.
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia
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