Modeling behavior

This past year has been one filled with behavior challenges in our family. I could say that these challenges are directly due to our child like many parents like to say, but I know better. I know that these behaviors that Wood Sprite is exhibiting are all due to those of her father and me. It took me a while to really realize this, though.

She has been saying some really catty remarks lately, and one of them echoed something that I had retorted while watching the show Chopped. She’s also used some really hateful language that we tracked to Back to the Future, a film she enjoys watching with her father. The fact that she is “acting out” as some parents call it does not mean that it’s time to censor her life; it’s time for her father and me to reassess our own behaviors and model the appropriate ones for her. It’s also time for us to talk about anything we haven’t already when she experiences media that she doesn’t understand.

As soon as we recognize these behaviors and start making modifications to our own behaviors, we can see huge improvements. I would ask that, in the coming New Year, parents attempt to do this, even for just a few weeks. Consider altering your own behavior before you try to change your child. The book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, which is where I learned a lot of the techniques we have been employing, could be an invaluable resource to you.

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