A few months ago, I made the decision to stop hosting one of our group activities at our house. I thought it would be enough to make running this group easier on my family, because we often have to leave early or arrive late due to other obligations, and when people want to stay later we end up being late to our other events. We are also renovating, which is not great to have kids around, and the club’s growth has also made it a tight fit.
In reality, though, I never wanted to lead this group; I only started it because our old club disbanded and we couldn’t find another to join at the time. And for a while now, it has felt like we’ve scheduled both our time and our activities around others, and I am just not willing to do that anymore. We cram so many things into this day already, and it adds another two hours that only make Wood Sprite cranky.
So I did what my best friend and husband have been advising me to do for over a year: I decided to stop being the group leader and to find a club that meets at a good time for us. I’ve asked to simply change the date of our meetings several times, but the only date that works for everyone is our busiest day of the week. My husband pointed out to me that I was sacrificing our family’s time to accommodate others, and that I already had so many obligations before I took this one on. He is now working two jobs and our time together is so stretched that I’ve decided to make the changes we need to stop living in chaos.
As relieved as I am, I also feel guilty because no one else wants to step up to be leader and the group is already having problems. I hope to help sort them out, but I have to admit that my first inclination once trouble started brewing was, “Oh, I can keep doing this. It’s okay and it will make people happy…” Seriously? I’m not in my 20s anymore and I am still having these thoughts?
Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for your family, even when it disappoints others. This is the second time I’ve done this in a few years; the last time, I quit a co-op that did not work for my family and it really angered some people. This will likely anger some, too, and I hate it. But I hate the chaos that ensues—the sighs and tiredness and resentment of my family—worse.
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia
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