Go guilt-free

Sometimes we have rotten days as parents. These are the days when you wake up bleary-eyed from little sleep if any, or sick, or you just have a funky mood you can’t kick. You might snap at people, or leave half of your to-do list unfinished, or just wish for a chocolate fairy to come and bless you. Whatever happens, parents often feel guilty about it afterwards.

I am one such parent. On Monday this week, I felt pretty sick to my stomach. It might have been a bug, since several of the friends we’ve been hanging out with reported a similar feeling—or it might have just been bad leftovers, since I’m on a fierce “eat all of our leftovers!” kick to help avoid food waste in the house. Either way, it was a day when I accomplished very little in the house—and Wood Sprite watched a lot of Magic School Bus.

She did get to play outside and read with Daddy when he got home, and I did work quite a bit—since I work from home, I often find myself working even when I’m sick, which begs another post!—but I felt like a total bum mother. Nothing was cleaned, we didn’t do any projects together, and most of the food she ate was the frozen variety (though I was lucky to have some leftover—surprise!—broccoli for her, which is one of her favorite foods).

The worst part is that I wasn’t hacking, gagging, off-my-feet sick. I don’t feel guilty for using the TV on days like that. I was just under the weather, not well but not horrific, which makes me feel quite guilty.

Of course, this goes along with what I wrote earlier in the week about giving ourselves a break as parents. Not only do we make mistakes because we are human; we also need days off to recharge our batteries. Even on a day when you’re not ill you need some time to yourself. And who does this guilt serve? It certainly doesn’t make me sleep better, or add to my child’s life in any way.

The best way to get back up on your feet again is to start over. Sometimes we do it in the same day, if we’re just crabby—Wood Sprite and/or I will go to bed, pull the covers up and then take a few breaths. Then we jump up and yell “Good morning! It’s going to be a great day!” even if it’s 2:00 PM. And usually, the rest of the day is pretty great.

When it’s a yucky day, try it the next morning. Or lay there and quietly think about all the things you have to be grateful for, or whisper, “Something amazing is going to happen today.” Get yourself excited and then GIVE yourself something to be excited about, like some reading time or a new ink pen a frothy coffee treat or a nap! These are joys that I like, of course; feel free to substitute your own.

The point is that there is no reason to wallow in guilt when you can foster more joy in your life instead.  

Photo of one of Sara's joys courtesy of Wood Sprite. She took this photo of our Glowfish, and it looks pretty magical!