Give dads some credit

Ever since we first held hands in middle school, I have had high expectations for my husband. We were best friends before we were lovers, so it makes sense that we have always been partners. Why would anything change because we signed a contract in front of a judge. A child, though; that does change quite a bit!

So many people expect things to change, and honestly if you already live together beforehand I don’t see much that does. Some people wear rings and some don’t. There are lots of legal and medical perks. But in your daily life, other than being able to call your partner “wife” or “husband,” I don’t see a lot of role changes—at least, not in our lives.

Earlier this week I wrote about how so many of my friends and acquaintances are shocked at how much my husband “helps around the house” (rather than shares the workload) and is involved in our parenting, as if these things are naturally supposed to be my jobs. This old-fashioned thinking just surprised the heck out of me after being friends with very progressive people (and being raised by my parents, who were partners), but now I’m wondering if people are just not expecting much from their partners.

Give Dad some credit. I bet if you talked about dividing up the chores as we did when we weren’t even out of our teens you could figure out a much more balanced schedule. Maybe he wants to help but doesn’t know how—seriously!—or he is afraid of not doing something to your standards. Expect him to help and I bet he’d be willing. And the more we expect this and make it the norm, the less “weird” it is when parents share the load together.

Photo courtesy of Wikipedia