The truth about continental breakfast

Continental breakfast is one of the oddest features of the contemporary American service industry. Where else are you going to get free food with your purchase? The only thing that even comes close is the tiny food samples which are frequently offered at Costco and Trader Joe's. And yet, just about every hotel in the country offers a so-called "continental breakfast."

If you have ever wondered if people on The Continent (i.e. Europe) actually eat melon slices and mini muffins for breakfast, the answer is "kind of, yeah." The continental breakfast got its name because hotels in the 1800s wanted to offer people something other than the standard American breakfast fare of bacon, eggs, ham, and gravy.

A surprising number of hotels continue to offer continental breakfast, even in the face of stiff financial problems throughout the industry. At this point you probably get more food if you stay at a Best Western than on any given airline flight.

The difference between airline food and hotel food is that you really are stuck on the airplane. Not only do you need food, but it's also a welcome distraction from the horrifying monotony. But the practice of offering free breakfast at a hotel is a holdover from the days of horse and buggy travel. These days, no one is stuck at a hotel. Bring your own granola bars, eat at the restaurant (if your hotel has one), or just, you know… go get some food. We have cars and delivery services in these modern times.

But hotels don't dare remove the continental breakfast option. It may not seem particularly appealing to many people, but a lot of hotel customers demand it. Even more customers abuse the privilege, by taking trays full of food back to their rooms to eat later.

Speaking of hotel food, fewer and fewer hotels are offering in-room coffee makers. Even if your hotel offers one, you probably don't want to use it, because the reason hotels are pulling their coffee makers is that people use them to cook meth. I advise bringing Starbucks Via packages with you. Making it with tapwater isn't ideal, but it's enough to get you past that initial phase of the day and on to some better coffee.