The five love languages and beyond.

Gain a better understanding of the people who surround you

A few years back I had the chance to meet bestselling author Augusten Burroughs. While he is famous for his novel Running with Scissors, I had the opportunity to see him speak about his latest novel at the time, A Wolf at the Table. It surprisingly wasn't his books that interested me. Though he spoke about the writing process, his childhood, and other interesting caveats you would want to learn about a celebrity, it was his take on people that struck me the most. Augusten Burroughs spoke about the importance of learning the people who surround you.

While this may sound broad, when Burroughs spoke, he used the example of his autistic older brother, John Elder Robison. Robison is an author himself, as well as one of the main technicians for pyrotechnics in the early days of Kiss. Though he has accomplished many things, interactions with people are still something he struggles with. Burroughs explained how his brother is a loving, caring, affection human being, even if he doesn't appear to be from the outside. Burroughs, to realize these things about his brother who struggles with even making eye contact, took the time to learn his brother’s personality. This is an essential ingredient in human interaction.

While most examples may not be as extreme as Burroughs and Robison, one useful tool in learning the individuals around you is knowledge of the 5 love languages outlined by Gary Chapman. Champan believes there are five specific ways that people both give and receive love. The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, giving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. People can differ in the ways they give versus receive love, and they can be susceptible to more than one. According to Chapman and his followers, learning the way those around you give love, as well as receive it, will help you in all your interactions, as well as to understand why a person acts in certain ways.

While learning love languages is a start, the importance of learning those around you is immense. Taking the time to observe and understand the ins and outs of friends, family and co-workers will positively affect daily life and increase empathy. By doing this, interactions will be smoother and the small things you may have always question will continue to make more sense. Understanding will lead to seeing those who make up your daily life in a better light.   

 Photo courtesy of Aiesec India