Baby, let’s not fight

Fighting is really not fun. Unless you are a boxer or MMA fighter and you are talking about the physical stuff, I don’t think I've met a soul who looks forward to a good argument with their friends, family or spouse…and if they do, those people are crazy! Unfortunately though, sometimes humans fight. This doesn't have to ruin your day though, or even ruin your friendship, relationship or marriage. All you need to do is learn a little something about conflict resolution. Here are a few tips to help you get over the hump of a bad argument.

Take time to cool down: Fights normally start in the heat of the moment, but that doesn't mean they need to end that way. Although tempers are initially flaring, respecting yourself and the person you are arguing with means making yourself ready to come to some sort of understanding or resolution. Take the time necessary to calm down and come into an argument with a level head. This could be a matter of minutes or days, but regardless, the time spent cooling off will be well worth the wait.

Focus on the issue: Things may be built up from past arguments. This is rough, but a sure fire way to NOT figure out an issue is to dig up dirt from a past fight. Focus on what the current issue is, and if there are things built up from the past, bring those up in another manner at another time. Pointing out another person’s flaws that don’t pertain to the issue will only exasperate an argument.

Be willing to work for an answer: The only way conflict is going to be resolved is if both parties are wanting to actually resolve the issue. Coming to the diplomatic table with a loaded weapon is only going to result in all-out war. To end this fight, you need to be ready and willing to look for a solution. This means curbing your defensive side, accepting that you may be wrong and for God's sake, being willing to comprise. It isn't always fun to be wrong, but it feels a lot better to accept it and apologize than it does to hold grudges and lose people you love.

Photo courtesy of Random Worldland